Sunday, April 17, 2016

How to: NOT live life well as a 24 Year Old Female 04.18.2016

Once again, my insomniac brain decided to bring it with another blog. 

It's not my best idea yet but whatevs:

Lately: I'm either messing up a crap ton. Or I'm being primed to author a book on how NOT to live life well as a 24 year old female.

So, I thought... hey all you 24 year old ladies out there, here's some things you should NOT EVER (NEVER) do this year. And maybe if you do not do them life will go a little more smoothly for you this year. :) I will not say whether or not these actually happened to me. :)

DO THESE 24 THINGS if you want to NOT live life well as a 24 year old Female:

1. Put your coffee mug upside down under your Keurig while it makes your morning coffee at least once a month!

2. Don't keep a spare set of keys handy on Christmas Day when you're packing up your vehicle to catch a flight to Miami and lock your keys in your trunk.

3. While in Miami, get a Margarita the size of your face with your girlfriend and then accept the server's suggestion to take a to-go cup after you've asked for your check.

4. No need to plan ahead for getting back home when you go to your first NYE party single.

5. You should definitely feel ok about saying "sure" when some guy you're not REALLY that interested in asks for your number. No need to read the manual on your iPhone on how to use the block feature.

6. Going to the gym after happy hour is a fine idea. The stairmaster isn't that difficult to begin with or anything.

7. You should totally give blood again even if you pass out every other time. 8 billionth times a charm!

8. Don't eat your leftovers. You just made dinner for yourself and you're 24. It's not a huge deal and it wouldn't make sense to appreciate that for a few more days.

9. Just send text messages without pre-screening who the recipient is.

10. Throw your laundry in the washer and then get sleepy and go to bed and forget it for 3 more days. Good idea.

11. Don't put your keys/wallet/phone/charger/bags in the same place every day when you get home. That's way too complicated.

12. Definitely take an idiot's advice on going to a cheap dry cleaning place. You won't have to get them all done somewhere else...again.

13. Wait until the VERY LAST MINUTE to "find a power source" and don't worry about pressing "save" too often.  Live life on the edge.

14. Post one selfie every single day so that you will feel major validation when people like it.

15. Always finish the bottle of wine in one night if you've opened it.  Re-corking is complicated anyway.

16.  Drink a solid 4-5 cups of coffee every day. Skip meals. No harm there.

17. Go to bed every night after 1am. A good 4 hours is all you need to barely survive.

18. When you're nervous, the best thing you can do is NEVER STOP TALKING. It makes everyone super comfortable.

19. You can most likely trust a person even if they sketch you out a little. Don't fact check anything.

20. Set ALL your alarms for the wrong time of day. Don't double check AM/PM.

21. Your knees and legs and toes and butt and hips aren't that important. Run them hard into every sharp corner or surface. Big bruises look cool.

22. You should definitely make decisions without consulting anyone that you trust or value their advice and opinions because what do they know, anyway?

23. Don't ever take time to step away from life and process your emotions and feelings. Just keep doing whatever and making decisions a little blindly. It won't all catch up with you when you are sitting in an airplane alone with no one around you but this guy who might ask for your number after he watched you cry about not having your life together. I REPEAT: DON'T BE AFRAID TO SAY SURE.

24. Girl, don't learn a single lesson from all the mistakes you've made. And don't smile every day knowing that everything is gonna be juuuuust fine.

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